Chapter 14 - Part I

"C'mon, it's not like I'm asking you to marry me," Samuel pleaded. The innocent-looking boy had grown on Andy over the past few days. It was still weird to talk to a guard and not be afraid of saying something wrong. He was also obsessed with drawing. It was already the third time he asked to paint her. She had always said no, not understanding the necessity.

"It just seems weird. What if I don't like it?" she asked sitting on her bed. She was still recovering from her injuries but she felt a lot better. The burns on her face and shoulder had almost healed. Some of her hair was burned but not too close to the head.

"You think I suck?" he tried to look hurt but it was all just a play.

"So far I've seen you draw a house and a few plants. I don't think you're ready for a human," she teased him.

"You look more like an animal in my opinion," he responded clearly proud of his cleverness.

"Oh, wow!" she laughed. "What kind of animal if I may ask?"

"Hmm, let me think. Arrogant, blue hair, strong smell - maybe some sort of exotic baboon."

"Exotic is good, I guess," she nodded.

"Is that a yes then?" Samuel asked hopefully.

Andy thought of her scars and burns. She wasn't sure she would want them to stay recorded and looked at. She had never wanted to be beautiful or desired. When she was younger, she had looked at Margaret being followed by boys and realized it was not a fate she wanted. Boys had only ever teased her because of her different look.

"It's a maybe," Andy answered and the boy looked content.

Samuel's mom knocked on the door and stepped in. She was wearing a lovely light blue dress that matched her eyes and her blonde hair was tied in a pony tail.

"Roger's here to see you, darling," she said.

"Did he say, what he wants?" Samuel asked as if his friend's visit was a burden.

"It's about the letter," she answered with her smile disappearing.

"Oh," was all Samuel said before leaving the room.

Andy watched both of them walk out and waited a few seconds before pushing herself up from the bed. She leaned against the table making her way to the window. She watched outside. The house Aggie, Morgan, and the others had lived in was visible from a distance. The fire had got to it like to most of the other buildings in the neighborhood. She didn't understand - was the explosion part of their plan. Did they want people to escape or start fighting? What had gone wrong? Andy didn't know whether they were even alive anymore. There were quite a lot of things she didn't know these days and it was killing her. She loved staying with Samuel and his mother - they made her feel welcome and cared for. But she could feel the anxiety growing inside of her. The hunger for truth was not satisfied before she had put the pieces together that connected her family, the explosion, and her friends.

When Samuel walked back into the room, Andy was still by the window. He wasn't mad at her, he just looked sad.

"Everything okay?" she asked knowing that whatever the answer he would give, he was not okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I see you're fine, too." He only seemed to notice her standing by the window.

"You can't expect me to stay in bed for the rest of my days."

Samuel smiled and sat on the bed.

"Is Roger a guard, too?" she asked. There was no way she could keep her nose from other people's business.

Samuel seemed a little confused about the question but then nodded. "Yeah. He's one of the few that didn't escape during the fire. The city is a complete mess now. He said the Emperor was here a few days ago."

"Why?" she asked and made her way back to the bed. The Emperor never came when there weren't executions to hold.

"I guess he wanted to see the situation himself. He's having new guards brought here and he wants the camps destroyed."

"He can't! What if my family is there?"

"There's nothing we can do to help them, Dre."

Andy rolled her eyes hearing the nickname Samuel had given her. It was something about him having an uncle named Andy who was a total jerk. So he didn't want to call her Andy and sticking to Andrea was out of the question also because it was too long - his words.

"I know," Andy said, "I just hate what it has come to. I would rather go back to the way things were - scavenging for sencurium day after day having my family beside me."

Whenever she spoke of her life as a prisoner, Samuel made funny faces. Not intentionally, she thought. He just seemed to feel very uncomfortable during those talks.

"Talking about life, there's some other news," he started.

"I so hope it's good news!"

"Not really. With the new guards coming, your presence in our quarters is going to raise questions."

"You want me to leave?" she realized. Them taking her in and treating her was already stepping over the line. She must have known that the end of her happy life with a new family was close and unavoidable.

"Yes," he said but he was smiling in a weird way looking a bit like a pervert. "But we're coming with you."

Andy was speechless. She wasn't sure what face she was making, but Samuel seemed to find it funny.

"We have relatives in Carran. My mom used to work there as a singer and they said she would always be welcome to come back."

"I..." Andy started but closed her mouth again. "Thank you," she managed to say finally.

"We'll leave in the morning but there are some things I want to take along from the library. You want to see it from the inside?"

Andy could feel the odd pleasant smell coming to her mind from when she stood outside the window waiting for the opportunity to steal the book she lost in the fire. She nodded eagerly and Samuel reached out his hand to help her get up.

The library was exactly as she remembered it. The shelves reached high till the ceiling and they were all filled with books. She stroke their backs taking in the best smell she could imagine - parchment.

"What do you like - poems, fiction, science?" Samuel asked picking up some random books from the shelves. Suddenly, Andy felt embarrassed. She didn't want to admit she couldn't read.

"Depends on the mood," she answered turning her back on him.

"Same," he answered and took a book from the table. "The night you were sneaking around, I was reading this - The Complete History of Ailet. He was a famous artist, you know, painted nature even though everyone else was only doing portraits of the Emperor."

Andy looked around. The other letters were a mystery to her but the M and E Grandpa had shown her on the box seemed to pop up everywhere around her. Different fonts and languages but the letters M and E were still there.

"Maybe you would like to take this with you," Samuel said handing her a thick book with dark leather covers. It seemed oddly familiar but she couldn't remember where she had seen it.

"What is it?" she asked before she could control her. To her justification, there was no title on the cover.

"Open it," he said.

Andy stroked the cover doubting but finally opened it. An E was in the title but that was all she could understand.

"Thanks, I'm sure it will be interesting," she faked a smile and closed the lid again.

Samuel was looking her in a weird way again. It wasn't the face he made when she talked about her past but it was still uncomfortable.

"Dre?" he started and Andy raised her head. "Can you even read?"

Andy knew that she couldn't lie to a direct question like that.

"I was never taught," she answered feeling humiliated. She was afraid Samuel would laugh or make an inappropriate joke. But he didn't.

"Maybe I can teach you then. If it's okay with you of course," he offered instead.

"I'd like that," she answered her mouth curving into a smile.

"Well, maybe this book is a bit too much to start with," he said looking at the book Andy was holding.

"What book is it?"

"It's Cirren History. I don't know how much you know about your heritage, so I wondered it would be interesting."

Cirren History, she thought. She went to the table and took a pencil. Samuel looked confused.

"How is it written?" she asked.

"Um, it starts with a C," he said and took a place by her side. Andy traced the letter with her pencil trying to remember the letter.

"I - R - R - E - N," Samuel repeated the letters one by one and Andy traced them all. When she lifted her head from the book and looked around again, she felt smarter. All of the new letters were now visible to her on the backs of the books. They didn't make up words yet, but it was a start, a start she had been waiting for a long time.